


if you left your love i'll be right

by wintyfreshh



Series: fall into me [3]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Cunnilingus, Depression, First Time, Nonbinary Character, Other, Tender Sex, Tenderness, Vaginal Fingering, please enjoy this extremely sappy offering, there's porn at the end but folks its a trek, this is basically just a whole lot of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26171344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintyfreshh/pseuds/wintyfreshh
Summary: Lyf begins to tremble as Marius sweeps gently over the soft curves of their chest, the tender skin of their belly. They risk a glance at Marius’ face. He looks awed, something warm and reverential in his brown eyes. Lyf lets their own eyes flutter shut when Marius’ hand drifts lower. The sight of Marius touching their hips, their thighs… it’s too much. That doesn’t stop them from feeling it though, doesn’t stop the curl of sugary heat between their legs.
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum
Series: fall into me [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893151
Comments: 8
Kudos: 104





	if you left your love i'll be right

**Author's Note:**

> YES lyf is gay and depressed, YES im projecting. this fic contains a fairly detailed description of a character in a depressive episode, if you want to avoid that you can skip to about halfway through. i simply feel tender in this chili's tonight and im making it everyone else's problem. marius does psychology sometimes so ive decided he's good at feelings because the boy deserves some extremely sappy sex. words for lyf's junk are clit, cock, hole, and cunt. pls let me know if i missed any tags! title from peach by kevin abstract.

It’s after the third day Lyfrassir has spent holed up in their room that Marius really starts to worry. The only sign of life was the occasional movement behind the door - Marius wasn’t sure if Lyf had even left to get something to eat. The thought made his heart pang in a way he wasn’t sure he wanted to examine. 

Lyf had every reason to still be an anxious, depressed mess, even after a few weeks on the Aurora. With what they had been through, frankly, it would be weirder if they weren’t a wreck. Marius had taken note anytime Lyf did something that could even remotely be considered a coping skill (thinking up rude limericks with Ashes was basically writing, he reasoned, which was close enough to journaling) and tried to subtly encourage it. As the ship’s doctor it was - technically - Marius’ duty to look after the crew’s health, and now that there was someone on board who had health that actually needed to be looked after, Marius felt obligated to encourage Lyf to find healthy outlets. This seemed most often to take the form of… blowing off steam with a Mechanism or two, usually Jonny, but sometimes Brian or Tim or Raphaella. 

Never Marius, though. He tried not to think about that either. 

What mattered was that it seemed to work for Lyf, in a short-term sort of way. Despite their frequent claims that it was ‘better than therapy’, Marius still wished they would, like, talk about their feelings. Just once in a while. Marius was - technically - the most qualified for that sort of conversation, but he felt too awkward to bring it up with Lyf directly, instead simply  _ hinting  _ and  _ suggesting  _ and generally being as awkward as possible. That method seems to have gone over great, considering how Lyf was now barricaded in what Marius could only assume was a horrible little depression den. 

He hasn’t seen them in  _ three days _ , so he knows he needs to go knock on the door. He knows he needs to, but instead he’s flopped on one of the couches in the common area, jiggling his foot so frenetically he’s probably producing some sort of harnessable energy. Would Lyf even want to talk to him, be  _ comfortable  _ talking to him? 

To say that they had a contentious relationship was maybe a bit of an understatement, and definitely something of an oversimplification. The whole  _ I’m-an-annoying-prisoner-who-made-your-life-difficult-for-literal-decades-and-you’re-a-hot-traffic-cop-or-something  _ situation did seem to put a damper on the whole thing. Marius had hoped that things between them would warm a little after the Mechs gave Lyf an escape from Yggdrasil, and they had, but Lyf maintained a certain distance that Marius found hard to traverse. 

He begins to drum his fingers on the arm of the couch. He should just do it, right? Just go knock on Lyf’s door, and see if they’re okay, and ask if -

“If you don’t go talk to them in the next thirty seconds, I’m gonna throw you out the airlock.”

Marius jumps. He had been so involved in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed Tim enter the room. How long had he been sitting there, watching Marius lose his mind? 

“...What?” Marius tries. Tim squints at him. “Twenty seconds. Not joking. You’re fidgeting so much it’s driving me crazy. Go.”

Tim’s tone brooks no response, so Marius clambers to his feet. He takes a deep breath, tries to let his doctor brain take over. Lyf is probably hungry, so Marius makes his way to the kitchen first to get them something to eat, and definitely not to stall. They probably won’t be able to eat a full meal, he decides, so he throws some grapes and crackers on a plate and grabs a glass of water. He takes the long way to Lyf’s room, just to avoid cutting back through the common area, of course.

When he finally reaches Ly’s door he realises that he can’t knock with his hands full like this. He fumbles for what to do for a moment (Should he kick the door? Use his forehead?) before gently calling out. “Lyf? It’s - it’s Marius. Just wanna make sure you’re okay…?”

He waits. It’s silent for so long that he’s about to try again, when the door opens a crack. Lyf’s tired face peers out at him questioningly. Marius can see the dark circles beginning to form around their eyes. The room is dim behind them. “Um,” he starts. “I brought - are you hungry?” He makes an abortive gesture with the plate. Lyf looks at him, searching inscrutably for something. “Yeah,” they answer eventually, eyes flicking to Marius’ offerings. Their voice sounds… small. Lyf has to open the door a bit wider to reach for the plate, and Marius gets a better look at their room as light spills in from the hall.  _ Horrible little depression den _ was pretty on the money. 

Lyf, for their part, looks like whatever the human equivalent of a depression den is. The doctor in Marius can’t help but catalogue the bags under their eyes, how their skin is beginning to look a bit sallow. Lyf evidently hasn’t had the energy to touch their hair, and their dark curls are greasy, tangled and knotted in what once was a braid. Marius tries to school his expression into something neutral, to keep the piteous concern he feels off his face. 

Lyf hesitates after taking the food and water. “Thanks,” they say, so quiet it’s almost a whisper. They’re not looking him in the eyes. Marius feels another pesky pang in his chest. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offers. Lyf looks a little surprised by this, eyes flicking up to meet Marius’. “Too tired. Gonna take another nap,” they shrug. Even if Marius didn’t have his knowledge of psychology he could tell that Lyf’s answer was only half sincere. He tries another tactic. “What about a shower? Might make you feel a little better.”

“Too tired,” Lyf repeats, a tinge of shame colouring their voice. 

“Okay, a bath then. I’ll - I can help you.” Marius is kind of bewildered by what he’s saying, but Lyf actually looks like they’re considering it. He presses on quickly. “Just - just eat that first and see how you feel. If you want me to help, I will. I’ll be in my room, okay?”

Lyf nods slowly. Marius gives them a bright smile, lets them retreat back into their room. He goes to his own room to pace nervously.

  
  


Lyf frowns as they munch on a cracker. The food was evidence that they weren’t hallucinating, despite ‘Marius von Raum offering to bathe them’ seeming _very_ _much_ like something out of a fever dream. Or a different kind of dream. It also seemed wildly out of character for someone who, before this very second, Lyf assumed didn’t like them very much. 

Obviously they had had their share of… conflict on Midgard, but even then Lyf couldn’t find it in themself to stir up any real reproach. Marius offered some small excitement in the otherwise unbelievably dull life of a transport officer. So Lyf spent maybe too much time at the prison out of sheer boredom, and then out of genuine partiality, and by the time they recognized the stirrings of affection they were already fucked. Marius mostly seemed content to antagonize Lyf, though, so they assumed it was a nonstarter. Plus the whole cop/criminal thing was kind of trite. And then the apocalypse happened. 

Marius was, so he claimed, a doctor. Lyf has yet to see any evidence of this fact, but they try to convince themself that his concern is purely professional. They eat another cracker sullenly. Marius can’t possibly be interested, especially with Lyf in the state they are.  _ He just feels bad for you, Edda _ . 

In the end it’s the smile that convinces them. That flash of sunlight. As Lyf pops the last grape in their mouth, they know that would do almost anything to be cast in that glow again. Even something as mortifying as being bathed because they’re too depressed to do it themself. 

Lyf abandons the plate on their bed and crawls out of the safety of the blanket nest they’ve constructed. If they look in the mirror or think about their hair or the fact that they’ve been wearing the same clothes for three days, their resolve will waver. So Lyf shuffles slowly into the comparative harsh light of the hall. Marius is only a few doors down. They will their feet to move in that direction, fleetingly grateful that there’s no one out here to see them (except the Aurora, they suppose. They’re not exactly sure how  _ that _ whole situation works yet). 

Marius’ door is wide open, so he notices them immediately, standing somewhat pathetically in the doorway. He gives them another happy smile and spares them the indignity of asking for what they want. “Did you eat?” Lyf nods. “Good. Did you… want to take a bath?” Lyf nods again.

Marius moves to the door and guides them inside with a gentle hand on their back. Lyf leans into it a little. “Okay,” Marius continues. “There’s a bath here in my room, but if that’s - if you’re uncomfortable with that there’s one in the bathroom by the common area.” He motions for Lyf to sit on his bed. 

“Oh, in here’s… that’s fine.” Lyf says lamely, sitting. They smooth a hand over Marius’ comforter, soft and blue, and stare at their lap.

“Perfect. I’ve got loads of shampoos and soaps and stuff, so you can pick whatever you want.” He sets a towel next to them. “Let me go start the water, and you can, uh, get ready.” 

Lyf only dares to look up when they hear the tap come to life. They feel a little shaky, whether from nerves or the exertion of walking here, so instead they focus on how  _ unsurprised  _ they are that Marius is the type of person who hoards bath bombs. They try to keep their thoughts on Marius as they undress. It’s a slow and laborious process, but they eventually get everything off, folding it into a neat little unobtrusive pile before wrapping themselves in the towel. 

A deep breath. Getting to be touched by Marius is obviously the incentive here, but also if they think too long about Marius touching them they’ll definitely chicken out. Lyf shuffles across the room to the bathroom and peeks in nervously. 

Marius sits on the edge of a decently sized white tub, testing the water with his hand. There’s a comically large amount of bottles on the counter, so many that Lyf can’t help but wonder where he possibly found so many bath products. They hear the water shut off and turn back to Marius, who shoots them a grin as they step into the room. “Told you I had a lot. Pick whatever you want.”

Lyf grips the towel tighter around themself now that Marius’ attention is on them. Looking through the trove of bottles is a bit overwhelming, so they pick the first things that look good. Shampoo and conditioner with green apples on the front, and something with a label in an alien language that they think is body wash. They deliver their picks to Marius, holding them out shyly. 

“Good choice.” He takes the bottles and sets them next to the tub. “This soap is all tingly and shit, feels great. You can get in, it shouldn’t be too hot.” 

Lyf swallows. Marius must notice how they clench their fist in the towel because he turns around pointedly to get a hairbrush out of the cabinet. Lyf drops the towel and clambers into the tub as quickly as they can without slipping and dying. The hot water is a pleasant shock, soaking into muscles Lyf hadn’t even realized were sore, though it does little to untangle the knot in their stomach. They tip their head back to get their hair wet before trying to tug out a few knots. 

Marius reappears at the side of the tub and kneels down, setting a brush next to the bottles on the ground. Lyf pulls their knees up to their chest and wraps their arms around them. Marius’ eyes on them are warm. Lyf feels paper-thin, exposed. They notice that Marius has lit a candle, which is… a lot to think about right now.

“Okay,” Marius breaks the silence. “Let’s do your hair first, I think. And then body while there’s conditioner in it?” His gaze is kind and searching when Lyf meets it. They hope it’s just the heat of the water and they’re not actually blushing. 

“That’s -” They clear their throat and try again. “That sounds good. How should I - how do you want me?” Lyf cringes internally at their phrasing, but Marius seems to get the point. “You’re perfect right there. Is it, uh. Okay if I touch you now?” 

Lyf is afraid of what they might say in response, so they just nod, lips pressed tight. Marius begins to detangle their braid, tugging gently but firmly until the knots come loose. He’s thorough, and Lyf begins to relax a bit. Letting their eyes fall shut, they focus on each point of feeling - the solidness of the tub beneath them, the hot steam swirling against their face, every soft pull on their scalp as Marius works. 

Eventually Marius runs the brush through their hair, making certain that every little snag has been smoothed out. After another moment Lyf smells a sweet burst of green apple, and then Marius’ hands are on their scalp. A tiny moan slips out as Marius massages the shampoo in, moving his fingers in firm circles. If he hears it he doesn’t say anything. 

“You have such nice hair,” he murmurs. 

“Thanks,” Lyf responds weakly. Marius touching them is already a lot, they’re not sure they can handle his praise too. 

“Can you tilt your head back? Thanks.” Marius washes their hair clean, then guides them back up with a warm hand on the back of their head. “Did that feel okay?” He checks.

Lyf nods. Marius seems to want more of a response though, so they add, “Feels really good.” Marius hums. “Good. Conditioner now.” Another burst of green apple, then his hands back in their curls. Lyf sighs a little more dreamily than they intend to. Marius chuckles. He settles back on his thighs once he’s worked the conditioner in. Lyf blinks up at him, feeling a little fuzzy, and gets a soft smile in return. 

“Alright,” Marius says, picking up the body wash. Lyf reaches out to take it from him, assuming they should wash their own body. Marius hesitates. “Oh. Yeah, you can, if you. Um, but I’ll do it if you want. If you’ll let me.” 

And how could Lyf say no to that? They nod again. “Please.”

They feel hopelessly fragile as Marius dips a washcloth in the water and pours some soap on it. The first sweep of the cloth on their back makes them shiver. Marius is as thorough here as he was with their hair. He scrubs across their shoulders and down their spine, the body wash beginning to tingle on Lyf’s heated skin. It’s somewhat similar to the feeling of peppermint, cool and invigorating. Marius cups some water and lets it pour down Lyf’s back, repeating the process until all the lather is rinsed away. 

Marius changes position, kneeling more in front of them so he can wash their chest. He telegraphs his movements, giving Lyf the option to back out as he brings the cloth up. Lyf takes a steadying breath and unfolds their legs so that Marius can begin. They can’t even pretend it’s the hot water making them flushed now. 

Lyf begins to tremble as Marius sweeps gently over the soft curves of their chest, the tender skin of their belly. They risk a glance at Marius’ face. He looks awed, something warm and reverential in his brown eyes. Lyf lets their own eyes flutter shut when Marius’ hand drifts lower. The sight of Marius touching their hips, their thighs… it’s too much. That doesn’t stop them from feeling it though, doesn’t stop the curl of sugary heat between their legs. 

Lyf is both relieved and regretful when Marius’ hand finally stills. “Okay. Let’s wash the conditioner out,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. Lyf doesn’t dare meet his eye, just tips their head back and lets Marius rinse their hair. He scratches at their scalp a little, sending a shiver skittering down Lyf’s spine. When he’s done he helps them step out of the tub. To Lyf’s surprise he grabs the discarded towel and rubs it over Lyf’s shoulders and arms before wrapping them in it. 

The air between them is simmering.

Lyf scans Marius’ face. His cheeks are flushed, eyes wide. They want so badly to reach out and touch his face, trace his lips with their thumb. Instead they lean into his side as he puts an arm around their shoulders and walks them back into his bedroom. His skin is promisingly warm against theirs. 

“I have some clothes you can borrow, gimme a sec,” Marius says, motioning once more for Lyf to sit on the bed. Their body has apparently decided that, now that they’re feeling less sad, it’s time to be  _ extremely horny _ , and they try to rub their legs together surreptitiously as Marius searches through his dresser. 

He gives them an inscrutable look when he returns, comfy clothes in hand. “Everything okay? You seem, um, tense.” 

Lyf nods a little too quickly. “Yeah, I’m - yeah,” they manage. Marius squints at them. Lyf feels like they’re about to combust with the way Marius is standing over them, eyes raking over their face. They squirm. “Just, um. Just worked up.” They force out a laugh. 

Marius frowns, looking painfully cute as his brow furrows. Then something must click, because he sits down solidly next to Lyf. He puts a hand, broad and warm, just above Lyf’s knee, eyes searching their face for confirmation. Lyf wills themself not to react but heat spills across their cheeks damningly. “Oh,” Marius says simply. “Do you, um, want help with that?”

Lyf whips around to face him. “You want - I mean.” They fumble for the words. “I thought you didn’t like me?” They ask, panicked. Marius actually laughs at that. “Of course I -” He shakes his head. “I would love to take care of you, if you’ll - if you’ll let me.”

Lyf nods.

  
  
  


Marius must have done something super good in his life, because he’s certain that he’s died and gone to whatever afterlife sees fit to reward him. He already got to run his hands through Lyf’s hair. To touch them all over as they went soft and pliant in the hot water. To see the tension melt from their shoulders, a light sparking back to life in their eyes. And now -

“Are you sure? I just - today’s probably been a lot, and I just want to make sure you’re in, uh, the right place?”

Lyf smiles earnestly. “Yeah. I wanna be close to you.” 

A warm glow spills through Marius’ chest. The idea that Lyf had been so achingly intimate with him already, and still wanted to give him more. “Oh.” 

Lyf tilts their face up towards him, lips parted. Marius knows an invitation when he sees one, so he brings a hand up to cup Lyf’s jaw and surges forward. He kisses them soundly, smiling when Lyf hums against his lips. They feel fresh and warm from the bath. Marius is almost dizzy with contentment. He nips at their bottom lip softly, slipping his tongue against theirs when they sigh. The kiss is languid, an easy, sweet thing. They tilt their head back as Marius moves down their jaw, leaving slow kisses over the column of their throat. 

He returns to their lips for a final kiss, then pulls back slightly. Lyf is breathing a little heavier, their eyes glassy and pupils blown wide. A flush shades high on their cheeks. “Will you lay back for me?” Marius asks. “I wanna taste you.” A moan spills from their lips, like they can’t help it, and the thought sends a hot burst of arousal coursing through him. 

Lyf shifts back, letting go of the towel as they move. Marius’ pulse quickens. Their body is soft and lovely and he needs to eat them out or he’s gonna die. He settles between their legs as they lay back against his pillows. He starts a trail of kisses at the bend of their knee, never taking his eyes off their face.

“What are you looking at?” Lyf teases.

“Looking at you, handsome. So beautiful.”

Lyf blushes prettily. “Get on with it, then,” they laugh. Marius leaves one last kiss at the crease of their thigh before pressing one right at their center. He spreads them open, biting his lip when he sees how wet they are. “You’re soaked, Lyf,” he groans. He licks into their folds and feels their hands come to his head. He laps at their clit before flicking his tongue over it, which gets Lyf’s fingers tightening in his hair and a breathy whine. He nips and sucks his way back down to their hole and sweeps his tongue through their slick. Lyf gasps, rocks down against his face. Marius laughs against their folds.

“Marius, so good,” they breathe. Hearing his name like that, all high and desperate, is incentive enough for him to suck at Lyf’s clit. They cry out and tug at his hair. He pulls back, just enough to ask, “Fingers?”

Lyf nods frantically. “Uh huh,” they pant. “Please, yes.” 

Marius keeps sucking at his cock while he circles their hole, slipping a finger in gently. He curls it against the wall of their cunt before beginning to pump it. Lyf gives a soft little moan, which Marius rewards with another finger. They rock down against the curl of his fingers, gasping and whimpering. Marius laves his tongue over their hole, pushes it in as he scissors his fingers.

“Mm, fuck,” Lyf whines. “Close, I’m close.” 

Marius responds by redoubling his efforts, curling his fingers into their spot and licking into them. He moves back up to suck at their clit, continuing to pump his fingers, crooking them slightly. Marius’ thighs tense over his shoulders. They gasp his name as they come, trembling and whining as he works them through it. 

Lyf collapses back against the pillows. Marius drops a kiss on their thigh before gently sliding his fingers out. They grab at his shoulders, pulling him up into a lazy kiss. When they break apart Marius tries to memorize the way they look with their own slick on their lips. Lyf laughs breathlessly. “Good thing we already have a towel because you’ve got like, forty seconds max before I fall asleep.” Marius gives them a peck before grabbing Lyf’s towel. He cleans their thighs and face, wipes at his own chin for good measure. 

True to their word, Lyf is dozing off by the time Marius sheds his clothes and crawls up next to them. They snuggle against him as he pulls the blanket over them. Marius feels in a daze, knows he’s stupid lucky to have been given everything Lyf gave him today. Who knows, maybe they’ll even talk about their feelings tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> :-)  
> me, a person who's never taken a bath in their life: i'm gonna write a detailed description of what taking a bath is like


End file.
